I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You've changed since you got that strap on
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
