I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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