my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize