based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
