i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
