My nipple is on Facebook.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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