he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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