Your mouth is God's brothel.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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