you guys were way drunker than both of me
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
