Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
now i know why i became what i already was.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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