arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
