Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
