"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
