thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
