they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
