if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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