At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
