Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
