You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
