Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
