You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
