You can't special order awesome
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just want to make out with him forever
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
