Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
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i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
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You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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