Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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