YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize