Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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