Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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