the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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