is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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