what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
