so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
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We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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