after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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