Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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