What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
