You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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