do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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