I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
