I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
