i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
