I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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