I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
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And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize