butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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