Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
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I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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