I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
