Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
