My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
