i just made my gag reflex go away.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
