need another drink. this is the easiest way
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
