Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
