I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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