I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
We smell like vodka and hangover
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