U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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