Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
