idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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