As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
