I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
