I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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