It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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