just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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